How I Overcame Burnout
5 tips to help you reset and recover
I originally wrote this as a guest blogger for my friend and colleague Tihanna Louise, who is an executive coach and public speaking trainer. At the time I wrote this, we were exploring the theme of the ‘great resignation,’ the ongoing economic trend in which employees have voluntarily resigned from their jobs en masse in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. You can read the original article here.
It feels like we’ve just entered Season 3 of our own Black Mirror series. We are still in the midst of a global pandemic and now COVID cases are on the rise again. We are still witnessing senseless violence against people of color. We are living through a war, women’s rights are under attack and there is a recession looming. Yet, somehow we’re still expected to do our best work.
Unreasonable expectations in combination with little-to-no support are a recipe for burnout. I want to share a few of my own hard-learned lessons as a burnout survivor with the hope that they may help anyone out there going through it NOW.
My first experience with burnout actually took place B.C., before COVID. I was working as the Head of Marketing for a tech company and I was tasked with launching a new global brand. Despite being the only Black person at the time (and, I believe, the first in the company’s history) to be ranked high enough to have direct reports, I was not given any. I was also working with a fraction of the budget of my marketing counterparts. However, for some reason, I felt the need to prove myself and complete the task.
And so I did. Despite the odds and in just a little over a year, I launched a new global brand as the only full-time employee in my department, with a low 6-figure budget (for context: most rebrand projects cost a minimum 2x my total budget). However, in the process, I burned myself out.
I know, it sounds so obvious when you look at it objectively, but when I was in it, I felt like I had to keep going. I felt the immense pressure that is so common to most “first-only-different” people in their roles. I knew quitting was not an option, because I believed that if I did, it would cast a dark shadow on every Black and Brown person who hopefully could be hired behind me.
So, like the Nike slogan, “Just Do It…” I sucked it up and just did it. But, like so many others, I didn’t fully consider the toll it would take on me mentally, physically and emotionally…until it was too late.
I burned out. HARD! Let me pause and define burnout: Job burnout is a special type of work-related stress — a state of physical or emotional exhaustion that also involves a sense of reduced accomplishment and loss of personal identity.
The challenging part about burnout is you don’t necessarily know it’s happening while it’s happening. It’s like I was running around a track — a route that I run almost every day– but every day I got slower, and slower, and SLOWER.
It was the exact opposite of what you think should happen when you are working hard; you expect to get better, but I wasn’t. Also, without recognizing burnout for what it is, I did the exact opposite of what I should be doing: I started working harder, and harder and HARDER.
“91% [of survey respondents] say that unmanageable stress or frustration impacts the quality of their work, and 83% say burnout can negatively impact personal relationships.”
Workplace Burnout Survey, Deloitte US
Eventually, I crowded out everything that I should have been doing: resting, eating right, having fun, spending time with friends and family, exercising and, most importantly, sleeping.
I was waking up between 5–6am and working before my kids woke up. Once they woke up, I did the morning routine to get them ready for school, commuted to work, worked until I had to rush to catch the train to pick them up, and went back to work after they went to sleep. I worked until 11pm-1am most nights and I woke up and did it again, day after day.
I worked every weekend and when I took even one day off, I felt like I was falling behind and I would receive negative feedback from colleagues for not responding within an hour, on a Sunday. This cycle went on for over a year and it got to the point where I was so stressed out, I was barely sleeping.
Then I started waking up every day in actual physical pain.
And even with all that going on, I STILL didn’t know I was burning out. Thankfully, one day I received a call from my friend, an anti-burnout career coach who was randomly calling to check on me. After she heard a little about what was going on with me, she lovingly told me I was burnt out.
To be honest, I was a little shocked. I couldn’t even process her words before she started rattling off symptoms:
- Are you feeling anxious all the time? Afraid of making a mistake?
- Are you having trouble sleeping?
- Are you experiencing headaches or migraines without a physical explanation?
- Do you open windows or tabs on your computer but you can’t remember what you were doing?
Standing outside my office, jaw hanging wide open because I couldn’t fathom how she could know all of this, I could barely mumble “Yeah” before she said, “I’m sorry my dear, you are burnt out. And you should consider taking medical leave.”
I was barely past the first suggestion that I was burned out and now she was telling me to walk away from my job?! HOW? There I was, the ONLY PERSON in my overworked, underpaid Department of One AND a recently-divorced, single mother/sole income earner in my household. The idea of quitting my job seemed as preposterous as cloning myself.
So, like any Type A person, I ignored her.
While I didn’t take her advice that day, she was one of the main reasons I started to learn more about burnout. One of the first things I did a deep dive about were the conditions that cause burnout. In addition to being understaffed and overworked, I was working in a toxic work environment.
I know toxic workplace can be a big accusation, but a few of the telltale signs included:
- UNCERTAIN WORK RESPONSIBILITIES AND BOUNDARIES
I was in a newly created role and department. No one had done my job before and while that was a great opportunity, it also could be used as a set up for failure. There was no definition of success. There was no baseline of measurement and when I put together a strategic plan and goals, I never received explicit buy-in. - NO TRUST BETWEEN COLLEAGUES
At this point in my career, I was well versed in “the meeting before the meeting” or what is often called stakeholder management. Before going into a big meeting with my boss and my key stakeholders, I would have one-on-one meetings to get feedback and buy-in from colleagues. On one particular project, a stakeholder shared only positive feedback in our initial meetings but tore my ideas down in the larger meeting. - FEAR OF SPEAKING CANDIDLY
Over time, it became clear that if you challenged leadership or management’s direction, your roles or projects would be changed, deprioritized or you’d be encouraged to leave the organization. This created a “yes-man” culture. Ideas that needed to be challenged weren’t, and as a result we weren’t getting the best results for our team and company.
In the end, I left. Not before completing my project, but as soon as it was done. However, by the time I crossed the finish line, I was exhausted, overweight, stressed out, and my self confidence was shattered.
Once I finally realized and accepted that I was burnt out, I decided to take a 7-month sabbatical. During that time, I was able to rest, recover and process a few important lessons to make me future-burn-out-proof:
- NORMALIZE REST & RECOVERY
This was a hard lesson to learn and one of the areas where I get the most pushback when I am teaching it to other leaders and executives… but it’s crucial. I now take at least one day off every week. I don’t put pressure on myself to go anywhere, do anything and I intentionally avoid housework and chores. Even though hustle culture makes us believe this is impossible, the best athletes in the world take rest days, and so can you! I know this is important because when I don’t rest, I often start working slower and more inefficiently. During periods of overworking, all my good habits (i.e. eating right, sleeping, working out) start to slip and/or I get physically sick. Normalizing rest and recovery will ensure you have the endurance to go the distance (and keep your sanity) in your career. - PRACTICE SELF-CARE
There is no one-size-fits-all definition of self care. For me, it looks like working out 4–5 days a week. While the correlation between depression, anxiety and exercise aren’t entirely clear, the Mayo Clinic says working out and other forms of physical activity can definitely ease symptoms of depression or anxiety — core side effects of burnout. When I cannot work out, I meditate and/or use adult coloring books to relax. There is no right or wrong way to practice self care, but it’s crucial to find the few things that work for you. - SEEK OUT SUPPORT
When you’re navigating toxic workplaces or experiencing burnout, it’s so important to remember you are not alone, and you are NOT the problem. I leveraged a range of support when I was fighting burnout. I went to therapy and found someone I could talk to about what I was experiencing and why I felt the need to suffer in silence for so long. I also joined a group coaching program that paired me with a community of peers who were also navigating career transitions. It was extremely helpful to have a group of people support me who understood the complex challenges I was facing while in transition. It was also helpful to have the support of my friends and family with whom I could be open and honest with about my fears and concerns. - HAVE FUN
When I took a sabbatical, my executive coach challenged me to do things that had nothing to do with work. While initially I was skeptical about this assignment, I started taking cooking classes anyway. I love to cook but had no formal training and this was a fun way to learn new skills. I still use many of the tips/tricks I learned in my cooking classes and it also inspired me to get new adjacent hobbies like growing an herb garden and learning how to make craft cocktails. Ironically, when I was ready to go back to work, my hobbies became the focal point of many of my discussions. It was a great way to connect with people and to learn more about them and the things they love to do. - (RE)ALIGN YOUR VALUES
As someone who enjoys the corporate world, I knew going back was always going to be part of my future plans. As I transitioned back to work, one of the biggest lessons I took with me from my break was reconnecting with and prioritizing my values. During my time off, I discovered that autonomy and creativity were the things I valued most in the workplace. I’ve learned to leverage my values to help me determine if a work environment is right for me. This exercise has helped me turn down opportunities that are “good on paper” but not quite right for me in reality.
If you are looking for an exit strategy or need support navigating toxic work environments, Learn more about my coaching services here.
For anyone who’s fought and overcome burnout, I would love to hear what additional tips and tools you recommend. Drop it in the comments!
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